I told my boss and supervisor today that I’m transgendered, and they seem very supportive.
I pretty much established that in the near futur I would be trying to pass as female, my initial step will simply be dressing more girly. As that become my generally accepted mode of dress I will progress of further.
My hope in doing it this way is that it will introduce the ‘concept’ to the rest of the workplace more gradually and easily, this would in turn essentially make it easier on me.
We’ll see how things go in the coming months!
Hypocrisy
Has anyone else noticed the hypocritical nature of some minority groups? They go on and on about how it should be fine for them to be the way they are and that everyone is different, but then when someone INSIDE that minority community wants to go about things differently its suddenly “no as someone in X group you should be doing it like everyone else here, that’s just how its supposed to be with X people”
Bah so annoying.
Everyone always says everything will all turn out alright…
Let me tell you perfect is just another word for compromise.
The Reason, or the Excuse?
Recently I’ve had a lot of I internal conflict. I have all these friends around me, and family members who care a and are very supportive.
They are not the problem, I very much appreciate that that are there, and that they don’t judge me for who I am.
The problem is me.
I know who I am,and I know who I want to be. I just don’t think I CAN be.
I don’t like who I am right now. I feel completely ugly, I don’t like how I look when I dress as a girl, and I can’t stand the sight of myself. I don’t like how I look as a guy either but at least its not blatantly obvious I’m gender swapping.
It feels Terrible to feel this way all the time, its not great when I look at my wedding photo’s and I just feel like I ruined the whole day. I feel like every photo I’m in is terrible and I don’t want to look at them.
I feel like I ruined my wife’s big day, regardless of how much she says I didn’t. The worst part is I know I would regret it if I had have gone through the whole thing in a suit .
I’m just at a really impossible point with myself right now, I have the feeling I’ve gotten as far as I will ever get and it makes me really sad.
It makes me angry with myself as well. I have been having weird mood swings where I will be grumpy and angry for no real reason. Or sad or apathetic or whatever… I don’t know if its all connected or not.
Hopefully it will all just go away, I’ll wake up one day and none of it will matter, and life will be good again. I have my health, my darling wife, my soon to be family, my friends and hobbies. Hopefully all this internal nonsense will just shut itself away.
Sorry form the major downer but its been inside for so long I had to get it out somewhere, and its better here than somewhere it may do more harm than good.
Better stop here before I cry.
You log onto your favorite online forum, check General Discussion, and notice there is a thread by a member discussing how they had sexual reassignment surgery. There are pictures showing off where they were and how far they’ve come. They describe in detail how they got to the point they’re at now, and they write about their feelings and what prompted these monolithic change in their life.
A cold rush snakes it’s way down your spine, and you realize your life has been changed as the words reverberate through your skin and you realize that the woman writing this out is you but years older. How could this stranger capture those strange, difficult feelings so aptly? Tears well up in your eyes as your skin becomes slick with perspiration and you shake, but just a little, it’s your body telling you that this is you. That this is what you must do.
Hushed, stuttered words escape your lips with the few breaths you take, and you verbalize it all, “I’m transgender”. You take the links she shared in her post and follow up with them, reading them methodically, and it’s just more confirmation that you know you honestly didn’t need to confirm the obvious, unshakable truth now reaching the core of your being.
Wanting to have long hair, wear “girl’s clothes”, wear makeup, and be like the girls in your class, feeling that you were no different from them? That feeling that disquieted you? Those feelings and thoughts that made you rest on your knees and pray to God when you were but a child? They were now realized. Your future was etched out in stone. There was no going back from this realization. Welcome, welcome to your new life. You now know the name for that nagging voice at the back of your head, the one you tried to repress, the one you broke yourself attempting to hide, all of this was now undeniably at the forefront of your mind, as it would be for the endless barrage of years to come.
A cold rush snakes it’s way down your spine, and you realize your life has been changed as the words reverberate through your skin and you realize that the woman writing this out is you but years older. How could this stranger capture those strange, difficult feelings so aptly? Tears well up in your eyes as your skin becomes slick with perspiration and you shake, but just a little, it’s your body telling you that this is you. That this is what you must do.
Hushed, stuttered words escape your lips with the few breaths you take, and you verbalize it all, “I’m transgender”. You take the links she shared in her post and follow up with them, reading them methodically, and it’s just more confirmation that you know you honestly didn’t need to confirm the obvious, unshakable truth now reaching the core of your being.
Wanting to have long hair, wear “girl’s clothes”, wear makeup, and be like the girls in your class, feeling that you were no different from them? That feeling that disquieted you? Those feelings and thoughts that made you rest on your knees and pray to God when you were but a child? They were now realized. Your future was etched out in stone. There was no going back from this realization. Welcome, welcome to your new life. You now know the name for that nagging voice at the back of your head, the one you tried to repress, the one you broke yourself attempting to hide, all of this was now undeniably at the forefront of your mind, as it would be for the endless barrage of years to come.
“
| — |
-Emma Lucifielle http://www.transstories.com/2013/01/11/opening-your-eyes/ (via notesofaphoenix)^Pretty much this ^ |
I think you guys need to click on this link.
http://action.sumofus.org/a/daily-mail-littlejohn-lucy-meadows/2/1/?sub=fb
This arse hole wrote a newspaper article which lead a transgender primary school teacher to commit suicide. Sign the petition people. Let’s make sure shit like this never happens again.
I sure hope that people just start letting other people live soon. It sucks having to hide all the time.
